Sep 25

Written by:
9/25/2009 9:34 AM 

For many hours Jargo ghosted along at three to four knots slicing through the gentle ocean swell rocking as peacefully as a baby’s crib. The sky was clear above lit by the long white chain of the milky way. These are the moments that make the work, the hardship, and the expense worth tolerating.

It was a 16 hour overnight sail from Isla Linton to the Coco Bandero Cays in the San Blas Archipelago and it was truly splendid. Unfortunately, once I arrived I could not for the life of me get my 60 lb CQR anchor to bite into the hard packed sand that makes up the bottom. After sailing all night I was a bit tired and my enthusiasm for reaching the San Blas had severely dwindled by the eighth time I’d futilely dropped and hoisted the chunk of steel with the manual windlass.

I could imagine in my mind what the other seven boats must be thinking as I motored all over the anchorage looking for a place to securely set my hook. I knew their thoughts, but I didn’t care. Anchoring is one of those things worth doing right, which is why I am still a little less that satisfied with my current set.

Eventually, after talking to an old timer who’s been chartering here for years, I realized that the trick here is just to let out lots and lots of chain and let the weight hold you. I couldn’t deal with that philosophy alone so I also ran out a second 45 lb fortress 180 degrees opposite my CQR for good measure. So far I am sitting pretty and the good news is this area rarely sees anything over 10 knots of breeze. Regardless, I haven’t quite slept soundly since I got here.

Despite my anchoring woes I still haven’t been able to just sit and relax. I can’t exactly put my finger on it yet, but I think it has a lot to do with cruising solo at this age. Most of the cruisers I meet are older retired couples who have had their careers and made all they were going to make of them. At 33 I am just not done yet. Sitting here in the San Blas, mostly doing a whole lot of nothing, I feel like I’ve checked out of the world only I am not ready to be done. Of course there is always boat work, but even that seems an idle level of production.

Part of my restlessness has been spurred by reading /Atlas Shrugged/. It is an incredible read, but reaches the borderline of becoming a manifesto for “rational self interest”. Essentially it states that every man who wishes to live is duty bound to use his mental capacity to the utmost extent possible and to use that thought to produce for oneself. Secondarily, a man must take sole responsibility for his own preservation calling on no other individual to provide for him or to expect any other man to call on him to provide for life when it has not been earned. It is a premise I can strongly relate to, but have in recent years fallen away from.

At the end of the day I’ve yet to fail at anything I’ve ever tried. I don’t say that in any way to boast, but instead as an accusation upon myself that I’ve yet to challenge myself to the extent that I find the limit of my own ability. What might I be able to achieve and why haven’t I chosen a field in which I can put the total of my ability to task?

I suppose this sort of thought process alone isn’t a waste of time. I do know that I’ve started looking at the Panama Canal transit as my gateway to return to the world. Strange considering how many thousands of miles I’ll have to cover, but there is a watery path in front of me as soon as Jargo swims in the Pacific. I’ve still got lots of time to answer my questions and I do know that when I am ready to return I’ll know exactly what it is I am returning for.

I’ll be heading to Cartagena in a few days. For now I am living on fresh lobster and conch surrounded by deserted tropical islands with coconut palms that reach well into the clear blue skies and white sand beaches that ring the perimeter of the islands. In fact, I think it is time for a cold Balboa beer and a swim. Panama.

Lee

P.S. Don’t forget, you can always help entertain me by sending a free text message to my Iridium phone using the link under the contact us page on the website.